Happy Festive Season my loves
I’m sure there are many boyfriends out there who are planning to pop the question this season. If you happen to be among those sisters who’ll receive a diamond this year or a letter of intent from your future in-laws, congratulations in advance.
It’s not often I have a guest writer on the blog but today I feel honoured to have life coach Julie Morris write an article for Bontle. Julie helps newlyweds get their marriages off to a healthy start and in this article, she shares tips on how to survive the first year of marriage.
Over to Julie…
The First Year Of Marriage: How To Cope With Stress And Make It Work.
The first year of marriage comes with many stresses for most couples, not the least of which is figuring out how to cohabitate with someone and make it a success. There are often financial strains, worries about integrating children from a previous relationship, and finding a way to make quality time with one another. It can be difficult to strike the right balance, but it’s incredibly important to find small ways to make things work for both of you for your continued happiness.
Newlyweds often find that communication is the hardest part of the relationship, and it’s one of the most important factors in making a marriage work. Getting to know one another on every level and figuring out how to communicate wants and needs will get you through not just the first year, but every year for the remainder of your relationship. Not only that, it will serve you both well when it comes to having children or learning to parent a stepchild.
Read on to find some of the best tips on getting through the first year of marriage successfully.
No relationship can work if one person is doing all the talking. It’s imperative that you communicate openly and honestly about what you need and want and allow your partner to do the same. This goes for emotional, mental, and physical needs and will help you work together as a team on everything from figuring out a household budget to making plans on how you want to raise your children.
Carve time out of your schedule for each other
The daily grind of work and paying bills can wear a person down, and the same goes for couples. When there are lots of new responsibilities–and that’s a big part of a new marriage–it’s easy to get lost and tied up in them. Stress can also lead some individuals to turn away and seek relief in drugs or alcohol, or simply with a hobby that doesn’t involve the significant other, causing a rift. Make time to sit down and have dinner with your spouse, or put the kids to bed and watch a movie together. Relaxing and sharing fun moments will not only ease your stress, it will help you bond so that when life does get overwhelming, you know you can seek comfort in the one you love.
Be prepared for a new family
Your spouse may have a child from a previous marriage–or you might–meaning you are introducing a step-parent into the equation. This can be difficult for some families, and the transition period is often rough, especially if there are custody issues at play with the child’s other biological parent. To ease the stress of this time, make it a point to spend quality moments with both the child and your significant other before the wedding. Allowing the child to be involved in your life together will help him feel like he’s part of a larger family rather than a new one. Never engage in verbal bashing when it comes to the child’s biological parent, even if you don’t get along with them; this will only cause resentment and issues down the line. For some great tips on how to learn to parent without stress, anxiety or unhealthy coping mechanisms, read on here.
Even if there are no children in the mix just yet, your spouse will likely have a family that you are now a part of, including in-laws, so be prepared to make compromises and come up with different ways to involve yourself at family gatherings. This will help everyone feel more at ease with one another.
Realize that a marriage means nothing is about only you anymore. You and your spouse are a team, and as such, must learn to do nearly everything together. The more you take on together, the more you’ll be able to cope with stress as it comes rather than letting it become overwhelming.
Thanks, Julie, for such a helpful article. I think it applies to those of us who have been married a while as well. One take away for Bontle Bride is the importance of communication.
Image Credit: Photography by Obi