Hi everyone! How was your weekend? I trust all is well with you. It looks like the lockdown is coming to end here in the UK and I can’t wait. How is it going where you are?
I’m looking forward to all the weddings that will beautify the pages of Bontle Bride. If you are getting married and would like a feature, please email.
Today’s wedding takes us to Nigeria. I’ve attended and worked as a planner, many moons ago on a few Nigerian weddings. It is interesting to see how similar Nigerian weddings are to ours. The people, the food, the love and joy you experience at a Nigerian wedding is like walking on cloud nine. If you ever get an invite to one. Go! You’ll love it.
I have also uploaded the highlights from this Nigerian wedding on you-tube, click the link below.
We met at a photography training in 2018. Somehow, we never talked much at that training but then we suddenly became friends after the training.
Early one morning around 5 am, I woke up to start working on my sewing machine. I noticed a white paper just right on top of my machine. I was still trying to be fully awake but I turned the paper around and it had the words “Shey you go still marry me like this?” By this time, my eyes were wide open and I turned around to ask him what this was about and he was behind me on his knees with a ring. That’s when it dawned on me that he was proposing to me! It was exactly how I wanted it. Just the two of us no one else.
I’m Igbo (Nigerian) and the dowry is called ime-ego. It differs for each hometown even if you’re the same tribe. For my home town it is:
1 bottle hot drink
1 carton of beer and
2 gallons of upwine(nkwu enu)
8 pieces of big sized igbo kola nut.
These were presented to my father and the elders of the family.
In my home town, you have to buy stuff for the elders of the village, the first daughters, the wives, the youth and even the women married into the village from another home town. I found it so absurd especially since I didn’t know any of them and they didn’t know me too.
The cultural practice that made me smile is the giving of meat to the new bride. So when the goat is killed, they have to give the waist/belly area to the bride so yes, I got that and it was consolation for having to take care of people I don’t know.
I wanted to call off the wedding several times because I kept thinking of how I’d lose my freedom and several other weird thoughts I kept entertaining. I had to speak to my partner about it and he was kind enough to repeat his assurances and promises for the umpteenth time.
I learned that the words of the mouth are powerful. My husband and I wrote positive confessions about our wedding and it all came to pass as we wanted. I’ve learned the answers are on the road. We had a lot of questions about weddings and marriage and we searched for these answers and found them. If we didn’t make any move, we wouldn’t have found what we needed.
Also, I’ve learned to count my blessings, watch my reactions and let go of anything trying to steal my joy. While preparing, we had issues but I remained calm all through and those issues were sorted. I can only imagine how the issues would have escalated if I was panicking and throwing tantrums.
The prayer session with the official minister was our favorite part of the wedding. It was so beautiful and heartfelt.
Prioritise your peace. It’s a one-day event. Don’t lose sleep over it. Let go and what’s not working and move on.
Life hasn’t changed much at all since the wedding. Yes, we do have some mutual friends and also “solo” friends. Although I’m getting to meet some of his friends and they’re not bad or at least, my instinct hasn’t said otherwise.
All my suppliers are my friends. And yes, they delivered on their roles. Every single one of them. The lady who made my dress of course over delivered on all the outfits.