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A Colourful Zulu/Xhosa Lobola Celebration

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Lovies. This is the last post of 2018. I’m taking time off to spend with my family. I hope you’ll also take time and enjoy your loved ones. Please keep save this festive season. See you in 2019!

Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebrationThe Love Story

We met in University during my second year and became close friends. We then got incredibly close in our final year (2014) and because he is a shy guy, he never asked me out… all it took was one simple kiss, and we were together, lol. We then graduated together, completed our Honours Degrees during the same year and subsequently graduated together again. We then got our first jobs together and believe it or not, we also got our promotions at the same time earlier this year! If this is not an affirmation sign from God then I don’t know what is!

The Proposal

He wrote a letter to my mother requesting a meet-and-greet between our families. It was at the meet-and-greet where he asked my family for my hand in marriage. A few months later, we went out for dinner like as per our normal routine but this time it was a really romantic restaurant with the city view and all (Four Seasons Hotel, The Westcliff) and whilst there he handed me a bunch of Proteas together with a gold envelope written ‘THE PETER FAMILY’ and then informed me that he would be sending his uncles to my home that very weekend to start the Lobola proceedings.

Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebrationLobola

The process started with a family meet-and-greet on the 24th June 2017 where Zano was welcomed by my grandfather. My grandfather then passed away about 2 weeks later and my family had to go through a mourning period. The lobola negotiations then kicked off on the 24th of March 2018 and got finalized the same day. We then went and designed my engagement ring together and when we received the ring in May 2018, we had a mini engagement celebration with close friends and family. The process then concluded on the 1st of December 2018 when my husband and his uncles came and settled the lobola!

The Planning Process

The planning process was very hectic as I am based in Johannesburg and my family is in the Free State. Making sure that everything was in place over the phone was difficult but my mother played a huge role in ensuring that everything went smoothly and that we had everything in place.

Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebrationWas the community involved in helping with the wedding? If, so please tell us more…

Yes, most of the women in our area came through to help with the catering and the minimal decor that we had.

Marriage is such a big deal, at what point did you know you were ready?

I knew a few months after we had started living together that I could do this life thing with him for the rest of my days on earth. It was when we got our first property together that I knew that we were bound for life, or for 20 years at least! Haha

Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebrationOften times people complain about black businesses and the lack of professionalism. Would you say your suppliers delivered as promised?

To be honest, we did not use many suppliers, but those that supplied us with their products/services did a pretty good job. Apart from the fact that I was not close to any drama due to me being about 300km away, on the day of the event everything was perfect and all the supplies we needed were there.

Did you learn any lessons through your wedding journey. If so can you tell us of 3 lessons you’ve taken away based on your experience…

1. People will love you and support you when it’s beneficial. This statement became a reality in the past 18 months. I even lost count of the number of people I have lost during this journey. The lesson learnt here is to never fully depend on people as people can change at any point.

2. The wedding is not ours but our mothers’! Wow this has been the trickiest part of the journey because our mothers’ have so many expectations and ‘wishes’ which makes it difficult for us to do what we want and the fact that they are the best of friends makes this worse! But we are thankful for them and will give them everything they want because they are our mothers after all, and they come first, obviously.

3. This is not a lesson but the amount of love I have felt throughout this journey has been out of this world, and I am incredibly grateful!

Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebrationWould you do it again?

Of course! For my soulmate, I would do it a thousand times more!

What would you say to a couple planning a wedding at the moment?

Embrace all moments, the good, the bad, the ugly ‘cause at the end of the day it’s all worth it!Zulu/Xhosa Lobola celebration

About Author

Hi! I'm Ika. Thank you for visiting Bontle Bride, a gorgeous space where I share exquisite weddings with a flava of culture.

(1) Comment

  1. Louise Ntlokwe says:


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