I have this gorgeous Xitsonga Wedding to share with you today. It is from one of my favorite photographers; Sam Phiri. He captured it so well. You can just tell by looking at the pictures that the atmosphere at this wedding was lit. I can’t help but smile. Every single moment of this Xitsonga Wedding is absolutely beautiful. And it makes me proud to see couples embrace culture in this way. ENJOY
How They Met
We met while doing postgraduate studies a few years ago. I was impressed by his confidence given that he was new to our working group. He says he just heard my voice in the class and he knew I was the one for him.
He did not really propose. He just told me that he wants to marry me. I am a little picky (naughty smile) so he did not want to buy a ring I would not like, so we went to the jeweler to select my engagement ring, which I would wear after lobola was finalized.
When he mentioned that he wanted me to be his wife, we had to decide on the most convenient date for his family to come (because he is from Limpopo and I am from the Eastern Cape, therefore travel arrangements were strenuous). His family arrived on the first date to inform my family of his intentions, and my family, in turn, indicated the required cultural practice. A month later they were back to finalize the lobola. I guess he didn’t want to waste any more time!
The Planning Process
The planning process was only stressful towards the actual date of the wedding because there was a lot of physical movement (e.g. driving to buy and collect some items). But generally, we worked well together. We allocated tasks according to our strengths, knowledge base and social connections. I was responsible for coordinating the decor, catering, photography, rings, and outfits. He was responsible for preparing the site for the tent (ground leveling and the garden, which looked amazing by the way!). He coordinated buying the food, drinks, musical entertainment, and local Xitsonga traditional requirements. Also, anything that was required to run the wedding smoothly (e.g. generator because there was load shedding). We shared responsibilities for traveling logistics for our families.
The community was involved. Because the tent was in the street in his village, he had to speak to his neighbours who were accommodating regarding our space needs. Local mamas also cooked pap and meat the traditional Xitsonga way.
Marriage is such a big deal, at what point did you know you were ready.
We made our intentions clear early on in the relationship and we did not want to date casually. We realised that our values align and we enjoy our friendship, so it was the natural thing to do.
As soon as we had set the date, I started searching for suppliers on social media, mostly Instagram and Facebook (particularly to see their work). I also searched online for reviews. Because the wedding was in Limpopo (I’m based in Gauteng), I also relied on recommendations from friends. I am happy with the outcome, from the outfits to the rings, to the decor and photography… The makeup artist! Perfect! We danced the night away – the performers and DJ were on point!
1) Planning is very important. The best suppliers are booked long in advance, so book them early.
2) You need to have people that you trust to assist you because you will not get around to doing everything yourself.
3) Not everything works out exactly as you planned, but you need to focus on the bigger picture – the wedding is an event, but the marriage is for a lifetime.
You only get married once (well… hopefully) so do what will make you happy. You will look back on the day so make sure that you won’t say you settled.
If you loved this Xitsonga Wedding, you aodre this one here.