A Xhosa Engagement

Good morning my loves. Rather than share a wedding, today I’m sharing a Xhosa engagement. This celebration is so lit and you wouldn’t believe the time it took to plan the whole thing. I hope this Xhosa engagement will shed a light on some of you my readers who are not familiar with our African culture.

The purpose of lobola is not to “sell” someone. But it is a unity of two families coming together to celebrate love. I was talking to someone this past weekend (who is also a South Africa by the way) who feels Lobola is a thing of the past and should be left there. You can only imagine my reactions. To say that I was fuming is an understatement. I was horrified.

I think I’ll write a separate post, to clarify what Lobola is and why so many families choose to do it. For now, though enjoy this stunning Xhosa engagement.


He slipt into my dm’s and we became friends. A few months later he was like. “girl I’m not here for friendship” From then on we became lovebirds.

My traditional engagement party happened in Edenglen, on the 30th of November last year. The lobola negotiation took place in the morning then the party started around 1 pm.

The engagement is just families, friends meeting getting to know each other before the big day, celebrating the new journey we’re about to start.

My aunt’s friends were so happy/excited when they heard the news. My fiance’s friends were also so happy everyone offered a lot, for example, my aunt’s friends offered to cook different traditional dishes, some offered to bring stoves pots. Different people were offering different things to contribute towards the engagement. That made me realize that family is not just people you’re blood-related to but family is the people who are always willing to support you emotionally in everything that happens in your life, either good or bad.

I designed my dress and then took the sketch to the tailor’s a week before my engagement. He made both my dress and my fiance’s attire in one week and he never disappointed us. My sister Sindi Mazibuko made my doek for me. My bridesmaids took the designs I had requested to their tailors and everything worked out fine. Everyone was happy and everyone looked stunning.

    The three lessons I learned are :

1. Never put pressure on yourself

    2. Leave room for disappointments no event is completely perfect. As long as your guests are having a great time then that means all is well.

    3. Family is very important. Be kind to them.

The favourite part of my Xhosa engagement was meeting some of my fiance’s family. The fact that everyone enjoyed the food and kept going for seconds made me happy. And to just see people having a great time.

I knew I was ready for marriage because I secured my relationship with Jehovah first, everything else after that falls into place.

Lutho and I would love to thank everyone who contributed towards our engagement, my friends, family colleagues……still looking forward to the big day.

About Author

Hi! I'm Ika. Thank you for visiting Bontle Bride, a gorgeous space where I share exquisite weddings with a flava of culture.

(6) Comments

  1. Zim MS Yoko says:

    You really set a trend, beautiful and classy…
    Congrats 🌻

  2. Khosi says:

    oh wow, what a beautiful love story… Continue putting Jehovah first,all will work well. Congratulations once again you love birds…

  3. Olwethu Lwazi Sean Klaas says:

    Wow, what a Wonderful and inspiring Love Story. It’s really motivating and encouraging to see Young people in such emotional state of Love. This means Love does really exist. I’m looking forward to thee Big Day.

    Congratulations to you Love Birds!

  4. Patience Mutekwa says:

    The fact that your marriage involves Jehova. It will last. Best couple. Beautiful engagement. You Rock. Siyanithanda chomies

  5. Temba says:

    This is just such a wonderful piece… very much greatful that I was there to witness this beautiful day. Looking forward to the big day coming…


  6. Njabulo Manzini says:

    Mandy and Lutho, congratulations on finding each other, I wish you a happy, healthy and long life together!!!

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