Advice

Hey, my gorgeous readers! How’s your day so far. I hope it’s been fantastic. I’m currently working on the second issue of Bontle Bride Magazine and finding the whole process intriguing and challenging at the same time. I’m literally living on Nelson Mandela quote that says “it always seems impossible until it is done.” I’m adding exciting articles on issue two and making sure that it is better than issue one. For those of you who have been asking, issue 2 will be available later this year. However, if you haven’t already seen issue 1, you can still get a copy here.

It’s been a while since I’ve featured tips on weddings in general. Today I thought I’d share tips on how to write your wedding vows. Please bear in mind I’m no expert. It’s simply my job as a blogger to give information and tips that will make the planning process a little easier.

Writing your own vows is a special and romantic way of telling your partner why you want to get married and adds a uniquely personal element to your wedding. I remember when we got married we were so preoccupied with the other aspects of planning that we simply didn’t make time to write our own wedding vows; so we ended up going the traditional route (ironic I know since I’m writing a post on how to write your wedding vows but bear with me it gets better).

Our Pastor handed us the mic and said say something to each other. I remember I was a bag of nerves. Public speaking is something that we both didn’t feel comfortable with back then. The good thing was that the mic was off (phew!)and nobody could hear what we said to each other which was great because we are both quite shy. The vows were something like this, “Ika today I’m a blessed man, I cannot promise you the sky, moon, heaven, earth or everything in between but I can promise you that I will love you with all my heart, my lungs, mind, soul, spirit and everything within me. Today I make this declaration that you are my queen forever and it’s an honor to be called your husband.” He did well, didn’t he? I still feel butterflies every time I think about it.

Here are a few tips to think about when writing your vows:
Ask the Registrar, Pastor or Minister if writing your own vows is permitted, some churches will not allow you to write your own vows. They require that the statutory words must be used in order to make your marriage legally binding.

Write From The Heart
Write about how you feel. It is a good idea to find a quiet place somewhere, where you can relax and think about how your fiance makes you feel. If you don’t know where  to start these questions will give you a starting point:
When did you know you were in love?
How has your relationship helped you grow as a person? What are the things you love about your partner?
Do you have a favourite song?
When you think of your future as husband and wife, what does it look like in your head?

Be Yourself
It is so much easier to copy or say what someone else said but it is more meaningful if you say what you feel. It’s best to be yourself. Only make promises that you know you can keep. There is nothing more disappointing than unkept promises.

Keep It Short
Remember its vows, not a sermon, so keep it short and simple. I would suggest that you set a word count cap of about 150 words.

Last But Not Least: Practice
Sometimes excitement or nerves can make you say silly things or even something that you didn’t plan on saying, so practice, practice, and practice. If you feel that you might mess up because of nervous write your vows and read them out.

photo credits: photography by Obi

jules morgan photography

photography by Obi