It seems as if in this generation Lobola is an ancient thing. For those of you who don’t know what Lobala is, let me break it down. It is a bride’s price or dowry. It’s usually given to the bride’s family by the groom to be. Lobala proceedings differ depending on your culture but in South Africa elders from the groom’s family will usually send a letter of intent to the bride’s family.
There is this misconception that Lobola is just about cows and money. It is so much more than that. It is a sign of honor, respect, love, acceptance and a celebration of two families becoming one. Money has little part to do with it.
I was shocked to discover an app that allows you to calculate exactly how much a woman would be worth in terms of lobola. I’m not sure why the owner of that app created it. Maybe he thought it would be a bit of fun but I see it completely different. To be honest I’m offended by it. It breaks my heart to see people ridicule our beliefs.
A couple of years ago I had a chat with a friend who did not pay Lobola. I understand it was not his fiancee’s culture and it is something that is not accepted in her culture. That’s fine. But he made my blood boil by suggesting I was Mr K’s property because he bought me(can you believe his ignorance).He is an African man, born and raised in Africa and Lobala is a big part of his culture, and for him to make statements like that is beyond me.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not against inter- faiths marriages. In-fact I have featured all sorts of weddings and will continue to but I just wanted to address this Lobola thing. Mr K gave my family Lobola and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just because some misunderstand it; it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You might disagree but that’s okay. I happen to think it’s a beautiful thing and should be celebrated instead of being mocked.
What do you think of Lobala? Is it just an old useless traditions that we should be done with, I personally think we shouldn’t but I’d love to hear your thoughts, leave a comment in the box below.
Photo Credit: GenerationsSA